This chapter tells the story of David’s faux-reconciliation with his son Absalom.
From this distance and from what the text provides, it is difficult for us to detect the exact mental state of David as he mourned for the loss of Absalom. The conclusion of chapter 13 indicates that David “longed to go to Absalom. For he had been comforted concerning Amnon, because he was dead.” This statement suggests that David was grateful for Absalom killing Amnon and ridding him of the problem of incest and rape. On one hand, Absalom saved David both the trouble and the deliberation of how best to execute judgment and punishment among his own sons. On the other hand, and at a much deeper level for David, he must have suspected that all was the result of his sin with Bathsheba; as God through the prophet Nathan had said after those events in II Samuel 12:11: “Behold, I will raise up adversity against you from your own house; and I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this sun.” David’s forthcoming forgiveness of Absalom will be the beginning of adversity that comes from his own house.
II Samuel 14 opens with Joab, likely David’s most loyal servant in war, noticing that David had great sorrow over Absalom living so far away in Geshur. It seems understood that Absalom stayed there because he had received no indication from his father David that he was free to return, or that if he did return, that he would not experience some great punishment for the murder of Amnon.
Joab works with a “wise woman” from Tekoa and has her go to David and tell a story that parallels David’s own story about Amnon and Absalom. It had the effect of prompting David to send for Absalom to return to Jerusalem, a sign that he would be forgiven.
Perhaps the woman’s ploy brought an honest compunction out in David; he knew all too well that it would be better to have his son back in his presence and that God would mete out the judgment in due time.
But David’s forgiveness of Absalom is not whole: when David tells Joab to bring Absalom back to Jerusalem, David does not meet him. Absalom returns to his own house and he does not see the king’s face. This went on for two full years.
Absalom tires of the fleeting “forgiveness” of his father and asks Joab to coordinate a meeting between them. When Joab does not respond to Absalom (perhaps out of respect for David’s decision to partition Absalom), Absalom burns Joab’s field. When Joab finally responds to Absalom to speak to him after his field is burned, he relents to Absalom and agrees to arrange the meeting. Absalom’s words are persuasive, after all: ““Why have I come from Geshur? It would be better for me to be there still.” ’ Now therefore, let me see the king’s face; but if there is iniquity in me, let him execute me.”
In the final verse of the chapter, we have a deceptively peaceful forgiveness scene: “So Joab went to the king and told him. And when he had called for Absalom, he came to the king and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king. Then the king kissed Absalom.” What happens in the chapters to follow is further fulfillment of God’s curse on David for his sin with Bathsheba.
There are quite a few things we can learn from this chapter:
- Wisdom serves all parties well when it is used in the right way
Joab used wisdom to influence David’s decision. We should seek wise counsel to help ourselves as well as others.
- Communication heals relationships
David and Absalom’s broken relationship was worsened by silence. Open, honest communication is key to healing broken relationships.
- Forgiveness must be genuine
David forgave Absalom but didn’t fully restore their relationship. Half-hearted forgiveness can lead to bigger problems later. True forgiveness means restoring trust and love where possible.
- Bad attitudes lead to bad actions
Absalom’s impatience led him to the poor decision to burn Joab’s field. When we let frustration control us, we can make rash and destructive choices. Patience and prayer are better responses.
- God desires reconciliation
God desires that we be reconciled to him through Jesus, to have our sin absolved by His blood. God also wants us to seek peace in all our relationships, especially those within our family.
Monday Night Bible Study 